Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
