atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
