i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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