he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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