Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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