i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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