She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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