Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
