Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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