I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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