I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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