remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
