was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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