i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
