Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
