I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
