I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The dick lei will go down in squad history
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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