I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
