I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
