I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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