Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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