on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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