I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
