How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
