i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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