I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Come on in and take your pants off
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