That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize