garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
