Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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