The maid of honor just puked.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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