just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
How external is "for external use only"?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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