if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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