Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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