im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
