I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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