I'm eating all of the evidence.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
