Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
