I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I got inside last night via doggy door
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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