finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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