dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
