If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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