Im at strip club and am horny
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize