do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
