She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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