She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
