Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
