Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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