Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
