i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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