Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
pray to the hookup gods
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
