I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
do herpes really smell.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
