That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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