i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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