Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
