There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
