You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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