you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
