I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
