told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
