i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
