I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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