can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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