Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
