I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
