I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
