I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
