So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
