I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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