O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
