Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We have started to decorate penises.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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