I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize