Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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