he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
