Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize