Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
