In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
