"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize