Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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